My Testimony

It was a big day for me today. Looking back, I was resisting the day and resisting what God had planned for the day, stuck on my desires and blind to what He had in store for me. I started off the day wanting to lift, but the weight room was locked, so I had to do a different circuit instead. Then we had a devotional and quiet time which was great followed by an awesome interview with the olympic silver medalist in the 400 meter, but even then I wasn't super interested. After, we had a testimony workshop which was really helpful. I've already written my testimony, but it was nice to be able to condense it a little and focus it more. My testimony is at the bottom of the post (: We then went sharing on campus (which was deserted today) and I was so upset that I didn't share with anyone. However, I got a chance to share some burdens on my heart with Macy and Stacey which was a blessing that I didn't recognize at the time. Then we went to the beach and as we were driving it started raining. I was exhausted and just wanted to go back to the dorm and sleep instead of going to the beach. Well, we still went to the beach and it ended up being such a beautiful evening with joy and fun and I wasn't even thinking about my sleepiness. Then we were going to go to a buffet called Sizzle which I was not thrilled about, but once we got there it was such a blessing. I have been craving bread and butter like it is no one's business. There was just so much comfort food and American food that I really needed. The day wrapped up with a relationship talk by a strong, Godly couple. It is so encouraging to see what God can do when we simply trust Him. When I'm running after Jesus, everything will fall into place. There is no need to worry about the future becasue the future belongs to God. It is not mine to try to figure out. So now I just continue running with hope for the future in getting to see what He has planned. Overall, I missed out on seeing so much of God's blessings today because I was caught up in what I thought was best. It's encouraging though to see that regardless of my awareness, He continues to bless me abundantly. The day finished off with some much needed girl time and community. Couldn't get any better than this. 

My Testimony: 

When I was in fifth grade, my parents divorced and my father turned to alcohol more than he already had. In order to deal with my absent father who struggled to care for us at times, I tried to make everything else in my life perfect and orderly. But when something fell through, I saw that as a failure and I didn't know how to deal with it. I was constantly stressed to maintain this "perfection" in school, dance, relationships, etc. I grew up in the church and always believed in God, but I didn't know how to know him. I went to a church camp with my youth group after my freshman year of high school fully paid for because a girl had dropped out and already paid. This was a huge blessing because my mom couldn't afford to send me. It was there that I first understood God's grace, an undeserved gift of forgiveness and an act of true, sacrificial love. I realized that God loves me so much and that I am sinful and separated from Him. Jesus was the perfection I couldn't be and took on my sin and brokeness so that I can be cleansed of all the sin in my life. I now had this opportunity to know God and have eternal life with Him by accepting Him as my savior. Accepting Jesus doesn't mean that your life will be made easier. In fact, we are promised that we will have many hardships. I went through the toughest points of my life after I accepted Christ. My dad hit rock bottom, we lost our house to foreclosure, he left for California, and  I couldn't competitively dance because my mom couldn't afford it. But through all that God was right there with me giving me strength and peace that I had never had before. I didn't see things in a "woe is me" attitude, but rather in thankfulness and seeing the adversity as an opportunity for growth. God let me experience love that far surpasses love that my earthly father or anyone else on this Earth could give me. There is no longer reason to be perfect because God loves me so deeply and He sees me as His perfect daughter. I am made whole in my weaknesses.